Silence can speak loudest

“Even
the foolish man, when he keeps quiet, is taken to be wise: when his lips are shut.”Prov 17:28

“Most
of us know how to say nothing; few of us know when to let our silence speak
louder.” C. Krosky

As Elisha followed
his master Elijah out of Gilgal, the sons of the prophets in Bethel and Jericho
had something to tell Elisha (their contemporary) which they thought he didn’t
know, though they had the option of keeping quiet like those in Jericho.
 “I know, keep silent” (my paraphrase) was his reply to them.
2Kings 2:1-5

Have you
ever felt so pressed during a conversation such that you couldn’t wait for the
speaker to finish their sentence, before you gave your response? The moment
something is said which may or may not agree with you; instinctively, you feel
you must interject that very second; else you’d miss the chance to hit your
mark.

Most times,
what happens here is that when we miss that first chance, we put our listening
in pause mode. Though we may appear to be holding our peace, no,
we’ve let it out through the back door the moment we started preparing how we’d
express our thoughts with the next opportunity, thus missing succeeding remarks
or even bubbles (unspoken expressions) that may explain the initial
comment(s).

Have you
ever been in a formal or informal meeting and comments on an issue you
are passionate and knowledgeable about were made and you felt pressed to
contribute but for some reason, you kept silent? And just as your patience was
running out, someone makes the exact comment you wanted to make. Do you feel
elated, deflated or comforted? The temptation to say something at that very
moment could be over bearing, but you can opt for silence.

On
the other hand, have you ever witnessed a crime and for some reason(s) you
thought appropriate, kept silent about it? Is it still a weight on your
conscience or have you silently silenced the voice of truth by amplifying
logic?

Silence is a
double edged sword. We can use it to gain time for increased understanding of
projected issues and learn more about the listener (observer) or the speaker
(actor) as they respond to its application; but sadly too, it could be used to
strike a below-the-belt punch.

When used in
love, it shows we respect and care deeply enough for the speaker to want to
understanding what they are saying before we reply, if we need to. We may turn
off our cell phones to avoid distractions or relocate to a private spot in
search of serenity to aid our listening.

Our silence
could also give the speaker time to process their comments and make corrections
if necessary. Anyhow, being comfortable with silence, as a receiver or a giver
takes practice, love, self-control and I think, good understanding of the given
cultural setting.

If your
intention is to ridicule, hurt or let someone know you are displeased with
them, silence could be a risky weapon to deploy. In some marriages, couples use
the “silence treatment” on their spouses and the result is often
messy. Someone in there may need control and the other, connection.
Unfortunately, where noise is the norm, one is most likely to mistake
silence for a lack of understanding but especially indifference.

Prolonged
silence in any relationship or in the course of a conversation can provoke
unnecessary emotional tension; as the speaker may not know if they were heard,
understood or just being ignored. The latter is often believed to be the case
but a sincere and skillful user of the art will notice, and address the
situation wittily.

Silence can
communicate many messages. It can help shed light or place a veil of darkness
on a conversation. There’s a place and time to speak out and even shout; and
there’s a time for silence. But the value of silence is diminished wherever
noise is celebrated. The ability to effectively use silence is one of the
greatest conversational arts.

Is your
silence speaking loud enough to the people around you?  Can you use
silence to make your point? Have you ever consciously tried it? Were you
successful? If you were successful, perfect the art with practice. If you
failed, try listening more and hold your peace the right way up –
lovingly.

As I
continue to practice this art, I must confess it is quite challenging.