How I met my wife – Part 1 – Kingdom Exploits With Uche

When I was younger, girls were a major topic. In fact, most times among friends, they were the only topic. Nothing else seemed to make one merrier than a good gist about a girl date that ended “well.”

When Jesus met me, everything changed. My mentor, then, Bro Johnny Anikpe, said to me, “Onochie, you must learn how God speaks to you…” I didn’t understand what that meant or how it was to help me, but I began the most incredible journey of my life, learning to hear God.

This one art has been pivotal to all major choices in my life. In case you’d love to engage this and don’t know how, please get Seth Barnes’ book The Art of Listening Prayer here.

It was in June 1992. Campus life was not going good for me. Many issues needed immediate solution and answers. But top on the list was my academics. Being the president of the Christian Union fellowship, I had responsibilities that were huge. I had not managed my time well, resulting in dipping grades.

I was laden with these challenges and other concerns when the Lord spoke to me that morning. “Sola shall be your wife.” When I heard those words, I knew this was God. I knew the Sola he was talking about. But I greatly wished this were a dream. I was not prepared for this kind of life. In fact, I had preached and taught against students getting involved in relationships on campus. I believed it did more harm than good.

I rose from where I was praying that morning and said “no” to God. “You cannot interrupt my life anyhow, without my involvement and permission. It is my life for goodness’ sake.” I was angry, very angry. “What kind of God are you? I’m here needing serious help in my class work, and You are talking about marriage.”

My first close encounter with Sola is easy to remember. We met along the way on campus and instinctively she said, “Bro Uche, how are you?” She was an open, friendly girl.

“I’m fine.”

I didn’t know her, but she looked familiar. She knew me and, noticing the surprise I expressed, she said, “I’m also in the Prayer Band.” This was the fellowship’s prayer force subgroup, which met weekly for prayers. But since we always met in the evenings, I didn’t know many of the members by face. But she knew me. I asked for her name and she said, “Sola. I’m studying microbiology…” Then she gave me her dossier.

A few weeks later, we met again. I’d forgotten her name, and she reminded me. She seemed too extroverted for me, too slim, dressed too simply for my taste, and had her hair in a funny style. Though she wasn’t a member of the fellowship’s executive, she was a serious disciple and took responsibilities well. I knew little of her personal life and didn’t care enough to ask. We never had a one-on-one chat lasting more than two minutes.

After the Lord spoke to me about Sola, from June to August, I expressed my disgust in every way I could. I didn’t pray or read the Bible all those months. I began eating everything I wished; I was afraid I’d become sick. Worse still, I made life difficult for Sola in many ways and never smiled at her. I made sure she knew I had something against her by always turning away from her and answering her greetings with stern looks and casual waves. She was the object of my pain, and I felt she had to pay for it.

But on that rainy day of August 4, the Lord spoke so softly to my heart, “I will not give you what will kill you. I love you so much. I’ll not give you what you don’t need. I’ll always offer my best to you.” These words melted deep into my soul. I cracked. I wept all night, asking for His forgiveness and grace to obey. I felt His embrace, His love, and warmth.

The morning of August 5^th was a new dawn. I needed to tell someone what I was going through. My closest friend on campus, Yemi Adeyemo, did not know. This was too personal to involve anyone. My pride would have killed me. “How can I go and talk to that sister?” I thought.

We had set up a Marriage Committee to oversee all relationships and assess future proposals in the fellowship. Anyone wishing to propose to a sister had to go to this committee first and tell their story. If the coast was clear, they would be permitted to proceed with their offer. This helped. I had to go through the same process as the President of the fellowship. So I called the Chairman of the committee, Bro Francis Adesola, and told him the whole story. He was shocked.

I asked him to call Sister Sola and find out more about her. He did. I wished he’d come back to say something I could cling on to convince myself I was making a mistake. But no; her story was better than mine.

[Her story and my proposal in Part 2]

Author: Uche Izuora

I'm inspired by God’s passion for His name in every generation, which provokes global worship through Jesus Christ. Becoming an emotionally healthy and transformative disciple, I aim to mobilize the Church to engage in cross-cultural missions and raise other like-minded disciples who discover themselves in Christ and seek to present and represent Him as Savior and Lord among the nations northward of Uganda. View all posts by Uche Izuora

18 thoughts on “How I met my wife – Part 1”

            Thanks for sharing the story - I look forward to meeting Sola one day - she has to be quite a woman!

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Author: Uche Izuora

18 thoughts on “How I met my wife – Part 1”

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