Hard lessons from my last trip Pt 2

Strength and beauty lie in differences, not in similarities; if only we can strive for the big picture. I learnt a few hard lessons on teamwork recently.

One’s enthusiasm could be a tool to trigger other people’s emotions so they instinctively help and support us serve a noble cause.

I wonder how many worthy causes have been jettisoned simply because the immediate perception of one’s passion for it was misunderstood as a gratuitous fad and worse still; the show of dissent was in body language which seemed to contradict verbal approvals.

How can you deal with it? Listen patiently and respond with meekness (not always easy) or ignore them and go solo or seek support elsewhere (these are ready options any day and come naturally) or abort the cause/job/mission altogether (who loves stress?). But what do stressless teams look like? I don’t know.

If you lead a team and have people who always easily project on the outside how they feel on the inside; rejoice! Have you ever interacted with someone for the first time and suspected that their attitude was poor, yet you were unable to put your finger on exactly what was wrong? I observed four common attitudes that can ruin a team.

• An inability to admit faults;
• An unwillingness to forgive and forbear, which fuels suspicion;
• Petty jealousy, which breeds a critical spirit and certainly,
• Lack of passion for the cause.

Most bad attitudes are the result of selfishness. If you have someone that puts others down (especially in their absence) or sabotages teamwork (by exhibiting dishonesty and/or indifference) or speaks more than they listen (busy thinking of what to say next while you are still talking) or make themselves more important than the team, as Butch Maltby put it, “by sucking up all the oxygen in the room as soon as they arrive”; then you can be sure you have someone with a bad attitude.

Our attitude determines our approach to life. Our attitude determines our relationships with people. Our attitude is often the only difference between success and failure. Our attitude at the beginning of a task could affect its outcome more than anything else. Our attitude can turn problems into blessings.

The challenge sometimes is that our attitude is not automatically good just because we are prayer warriors or pastors of a mega church or missionaries among a distant nameless people. Yet, people we deal with have expectations and as humans, we disappoint them now and again.

I learnt that within teams, the fear of conflicts and misunderstanding has a way of frustrating the sweet flow of the Spirit. If conflicts and differences are openly discussed as an aid to problem solving, a team faces decision making on controversial and emotionally charged issues with less tension if prejudices are set aside in the interest of the unity of the spirit and the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:3)

Effective teams do not shy away from conflict; rather, they learn to use it to their advantage. Though that learning process could seem like an unending course without a hope of graduation, but there’s great reward if we persevere. Team issues shouldn’t just tame us but teach us.

I had the privilege of working with and learning from a few informal teams in different settings during my last trip. Believe me, I had my grinding moments but God brought sweet spirits my way with every step. An effective team at work is so wonderful to behold. Communication, whether written, spoken or unspoken is invaluable.

As I mused on teamwork few weeks ago, I asked myself some questions:

“What should be the appropriate level or medium of communication between team members?”

“What if they are afraid to speak up and/or ask questions?”

“What if someone feels they must be understood but never pay attention to others?”

“What if everybody accurately states their view and others listen and understand what is being said?”

“What if most of the team members restrain themselves and filter their critical remarks with grace?”

I wonder what you think about these questions but I noticed that in teams with a supportive atmosphere, there’s a willingness to take risks, listen, express opinions, and venture new or different ideas. Team members feel they will be listened to and not be belittled for openly expressing their viewpoints. Correction is given and received well. Criticism, gossip, suspicion and blame casting are not part of an effective teams’ atmosphere.

In an untrusting, non-supportive environment, members feel they have to put up a façade, because to let people know what’s going on inside could result in them being vulnerable and hurt. So, tools of manipulation and control such as tears, silence, outbursts of anger or even laughter…, come into play.

If your weakness or a stronghold that bedevils you shows up while working with a team, blessed are you if there’re team members who will love on you with no gloves on.

It seems to me that effective teams usually comprise of disciples whose contrasting personalities are carefully knit together by the Master to fix their individual broken parts and in the process, fulfill His eternal purpose.

He’s still working and expects our total cooperation.