Our Porn-Again Believers’ Class

A group of young boys aged between 13 and 19 were hanging out with me some time ago and just wanted to hear me share something, anything on any topic with them. One even begged to hear stories of my mission trips. It was one of those unplanned but priceless moments. How I love connecting with young people!

“What do you think of pornography?” I asked them.

The question hung in the air for almost two minutes. I observed as heads bowed and some literally docked behind others, giggling and muttering away. This was not what they expected. 

Suddenly, one of them asked; “what is pornography?” His face expressed amazement. I knew he was innocently confused and must be carried along.

“Who can tell our brother what pornography is all about?”

We waited again; no one was ready for this, so answers have to be well thought out. A sense of seriousness seemed to grip some but I wasn’t going to wait forever for a response. 

I fancied one of them, who I thought could bail out the class; so I directed the question to him. “What do you know about pornography?” He turned to look at the guy behind him, pretending not to know I was referring to him. “Yes, you.” “Me?” I nodded.

His reply kicked the class into motion. “It is pictures and videos of naked “babes” (girls) and guys banging (having sex), you know em, em, em, that kain thin shaa…”

It was not just his choice of words that rocked the class – using babes for girls and banging for sex but the way he expressed himself. His body language communicated more than his words on this subject. It excited everyone and ushered in the right atmosphere for a meeting like this.

As the class bellowed in rapturous laughter, I turned to the fellow that didn’t know the word, lifting my eyebrow; he gave me a sheepish smile and several nods. He got it, he knew this thing, just the name for it was missing. These kids were all born again but it was clear that there was “porn-again” in their Christian experience. How far have they gone? I was soon to find out. That’s how our one-day porn-again believers’ class set sail.

I started by sharing my own experience and experiments with pornography, as a way of releasing them to engage the subject without disguise and the fear of rejection and condemnation. I’d never done this before but I sensed the atmosphere was right for such disclosure. The Scripture is so true, “What a joy it is to find just the right word for the right occasion!” (Proverbs 15:23)  

Our chat naturally progressed into talks on pre-marital sex and masturbation. When I asked each person to share their experience here, it was explosive. I heard shocking revelations and on-going challenges, some almost impossible to believe, making one hour seem like ten minutes. Right there with me were fathers at age 16 and 17!

One of them even said he heard from a “man of God” that masturbation was okay, it is safer, there’s no chance of getting AIDS, you are not hurting anyone, you need to relieve yourself sometimes as nature demands…” I told him that was the devil speaking. Pornography and masturbation seemed to be very attractive to those boys. Sadly, its false promises had sponsored major cracks in their walk with Jesus. But were they looking for solutions? I wondered.

It was clear that those with big problems began with the desire to experiment, to explore, to assist an initial sexual desire with a little pornographic material. This discovery stage is the first of three major stages of this devious and demonic act. When they notice that no “bombs exploded”, they got deeper and deeper, thus building a habit, and the next stage, repetition is birth.

The tragedy assumes monstrous dimensions as the body adjusts to new levels of stimulation it is being subjected to. Just like our love for sugar, the next session has to be more fascinating than the last (by this time we are talking incorporation, a lifestyle). The porn user is now craving intensity. He seeks, buys and stores pornographic materials in several places from the internet, to hard drives, to cell phones, where they are now more readily accessible and especially “renewable”.

Pornography darkens the mind; reducing one’s tolerance for what is real while increasing dependence on mere fantasy! Initially, it seems harmless but like weeds, it soon proves fatal as other vices like masturbation, fornication, homosexuality, and adultery take hold of the user. God rescued me!!

My goal as I discussed with those boys that day was not just to highlight the need for sexual purity which I hoped they desired but also for responsible and honorable stewardship of their bodies, as commanded in the Scriptures (1 Thessalonians 4:1-5). It had to start now. Marriage is great, but does not cure sexual immorality nor delivers one from pornography.

As we progressed, I saw that bringing them to a place of personal repentance was easy, as God had begun working in their hearts. But the challenge lay in forsaking the habit and recovering fully. Some still had porno stuff on their cell phone right there!!

Five steps helped me explain the challenge of pornography and start a recovery process for some of them that day.

Be Realistic: Recognize that sexual temptation is inevitable. But pornography is avoidable. Erotic images on newspapers, billboards, films, television, and a thousand other stimulants are bombarding you daily. But don’t feed on them.

Be Ready: Decide in advance what to do when you’re tempted, how to distract yourself, who to call, how to escape entrapments. There’s always a way out.

Be Sober: Pornography amplifies immoral sexual fantasies and every flirtatious conversation you keep, or every “second look” you indulge in is the seed for fornication, adultery, a broken relationship, HIV/AIDS, a shattered life and worse still, eternal damnation.

Lights On: Sexual sins like using pornography thrive in the dark. The secrecy surrounding it is what strengthens its hold on you. Deal with shame (see how-to here); come into the light by confessing to someone that can help and stay in the light by being accountable.

Get Help: The use of pornography is indicative of deeper emotional problems that someone is trying to fix with the wrong tool. Please get help from a trusted mature Christian.

This worldwide multimillion-dollar evil business that has no class or creed restrictions cannot be tackled without the deliberate refocusing of those shackled therein by way of a spiritual heart transplant.