Most of you reading this piece may have someone you
consider close enough to introduce them publicly as “My best friend”.
more fortunate than many married couples, if not most. Some couples are welded together
by force or forces, instead of by
love. It’s a tragic reality they’ll live with, until death rescues one from the
other or Jesus returns to claim His Bride and end all marriages.
ever consider divorce as an option, please think deeply and let your thirst be
quenched at the wellsprings of grace and mercy. “Oh blessed are ye when ya spouse is ya best pally. Ya’ll joyfully reap what ya’ve sown.” Some people have their pets as their “best” friend. They may have seen “hell” in the hands of humans. So I wish them well.
Many pleasant and painful events overlap in time within
friendships such that the fellows freely use best, to qualify their relationship. But some have experienced tragic
twists in what was once a “perfect” mix that suddenly left a broken heart seeking
succor or even vengeance. For them, the onetime best is now the worst and the
way back to the “good old days” is shut forever. But is anything too hard for
God?
Facebook has helped some people discover long lost
friends and start new relationships. I connected with one yesterday. However,
best friends go beyond Facebook. Thank God for the arrival of cell phones but
best friends need more than text messages and phone calls to maintain true fellowship.
These are useful tools but it’s amazing to me that in this communication crazy age,
there are more lonely people and little authentic communication amongst so
called friends.
Join me to
consider five non-negotiable qualities that foster friendships gleaned from studying what David and Jonathan shared, as told in the scriptures from 1Samuel chapters 18 –
20.
“By the time David had finished
reporting to Saul, Jonathan was deeply impressed with David–an immediate bond
was forged between them. He became totally committed to David. From that point
on he would be David’s number-one advocate and friend.” “Jonathan repeated his pledge of
love and friendship for David. He loved David more than his own soul!” (1Sam 18:1, 20:17)
Loyalty makes a best friend stay in
your corner when you feel cornered, crushed, conquered and almost consumed by life’s
challenges. Your error or folly may have messed you up but best friends see
beyond the mess and see God’s mercy and His comforting message. Jonathan foresaw
the Kingdom under David’s control, though it seemed impossible at that time to
actualize but he stuck to his shepherd boy friend.
sacrifice precious things to sustain their treasured relationship. One never
feels s/he’s the “host” and the other is a leech. Give and take may not be
50-50 as this CANNOT be appropriately measured; because what we give or get is
not the bases of the relationship.
cornerstone. Jonathan visited David in the wilderness when he was hiding from
King Saul. He sacrificed his honor, pleasure, time, safety and right hand seat at the
king’s table for his best friend. Hebrews 13:16 says “Make
sure you don’t take things for granted and go slack in working for the common
good; share what you have with others. God takes particular pleasure in acts of
worship–a different kind of “sacrifice”–that take place in kitchen
and workplace and on the streets.” (The Message) Now if the “others” here refers to everybody around you, how much more a best friend?
Secrets, whether good or bad bind
relationships. The moment friends share information they agree should remain
hidden from others, it yokes them. When that secret(s) seeps out, trust is
broken and the relationship cracks. Best friends share healthy
secrets. Jesus told His three closest friends not to tell anyone what they saw
on that mount of transfiguration and Jonathan knew where to find David when the
entire armies of his father King Saul sort to kill David. Who holds your
secrets? Are they your best friends? God said, “I will not hide from Abraham that which I’m about to do” Gen 18:17. I ponder over one question more than
others on this issue of secrets among friends.
Best friends are sincere
to each other. People are looking for places of refuge, private corners
where they could be themselves with someone that will not only honestly tell
them the truth about what they see or feel but also one that critics them in
love. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are
lavish and deceitful.” (Pro 27:6) Unfortunately, some
people (especially leaders) surround themselves with people that never challenge
them with the truth or correct their wrongs. Like my friend Butch Maltby said,
“Many people who
invite truth resist it when it comes.” Our humility is tested by how well we take correction.
Our humanness and flaws will test our friendships. But
best friends stay consistent and
weather the storms that accompany the choices they make based on their
different perspectives to individual life issues. As they grow, they come to
learn that love suffers long, is truly kind and never fails.
This article is already too long,
so humility, covenant and time
are issues I’ve chosen to feature later.
If your best friend does not know Jesus in a personal
way, reverence Him within the context of your regular fellowship and uphold
these five key virtues; what you are sharing is drying up and soon, someone
will move on.
Kingdom Exploits With Uche 
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